Register or DIE

Registration, registration, registration! Have you ever heard someone tell you that Russians make everything impossible and if possible as painful as possible? Well I have been hit with this realization quite hard. Registration at St. Petersburg University is like pulling teeth and I am not just talking about any teeth. I am talking about strong healthy teeth that will not budge. You have to give the same information about 100 times to like 20 different departments and no department knows the information from the other department. Even worse, you have to register with the police department to take classes at the school. Sounds simple enough, sign some papers talk to some people, and that is about it. Well no. the department at St. Pete that does this is open only for two hours a day and about 100 people need to get registered. I know this because Sergei, Jessica and I went and signed up to register and we were number 101 and 102. There is no way that this place, in 2 hours, can see 100 people and you HAVE to sign up to stay in school. Thank god for Sergei! He called up a few people who called up a few more people that made an appointment for us. Our apt. was the next day at 10:30 (making us miss out first day of class). Well that was wonderful but also not the most painful part. The paper you have to give to this said department to register with the police is impossible. You see it is so impossible that SRAS does not even know how to fill it out correctly. Somehow we got lucky again. A wonderful Russian man, some dean of some international department, took the papers from us and typed up all the information.
On top of this dramatic experience, we needed to take a test and sign up for classes. The test wasn't all that bad. It was 101 multiple choice question and we had an hour to do them. The questions were hard, I knew what was going on and what was being asked, it was just remembering the set up and all the rules that got me. I scored average. Jessica scored quite high. And the sad part, Jessica only had a year of Russian and then took a year off to save up enough money to go to Russia. I have had 2 years of Russian back to back. I feel inept. But this is also her third language. She is fluent in French because she is from Canada. I got put into a class with 3 people from Edinburgh, Scotland and like a bizillian people from Korea. Well like 10, but that is like a lot of Koreans.
So we have all the information we need and we go to the appointment at 10:30. No such luck, no one knows what is going on. We ask some nice young looking lady that we were sent here to get paperwork done. She says that we have to wait till 2 (when they start registration for everyone) and we were like no we have an appointment. This was all in English mind you. The lady stares at us and says “I am not an English translator, I am a French translator” and gives us the death stare. We run out of the room in complete and total fear. Mind you Jessica is beyond fluent in French, but we were still scared for our life and were alone. Sergei did not come with us. So we call us Sergei right away and he calls like a thousand people and then calls us back and we get seen. NO it doesn't end there. Now we need to have the correct information that the nice Russian man typed up for us the day beforehand. Nope, epic fail. I had the wrong date on something and Jessica has the wrong last name. Then we leave to redue all the paperwork by hand, and again we messed up on something and had to repeat. Finally, we get everything correct. Registration is complete, at. St. Pete University.
My registration process did not end there. Nope, I had to also register for school number 2, Graduate School of Management (GSOM). I already saw the dean with Sergei the day before (when we started the whole registration process) and was told what to do. He told me to look at my time table (like the hell I know what that is) and see when my classes were later that day. I didn't go back to GSOM because I was stuck at St. Pete dealing with them. So the next day I went back after the 10:30 appt. and talk with Vladim the Dean of exchange students (he speaks English-YEY). I get my student pass, which is an electronic card that I must swipe to get in AND out of the building (why out is beyond me, if you enter the building then obviously you are important enough to exit as well). Well anyways I get that and am told that I must wait for an e-mail telling me my username and password to register for classes and use their FREE computers whenever I want. Well after Jessica and I finish everything we have to do that day, and it is later in the evening, I go to the internet cafe to get my username and password. FAIL. I have NOTHING. I don't know what to do. I have to register that day because my classes start the next day! AHHHHH so I am completely freaking out like I always do and e-mail Vladim. He tells me not to worry, but I must be registered to go to class.
Random Fact: Escalators in Russia are some of the steepest ones in the world. They average 15 stories and they are building a new one that will go down 30 stories. Talk about a long fall!